People were cleared then we walked in and bought the ticket.
It was a special fair so it would leaven our wallet definitely. Umbrellas and hats were displayed on the
cart. The sunlight was so bright and it sometimes make me felt mellow. Just walk pass through the gates, an employee hand out a map. As I flipped through the map, “It’s so big
and many attractive items” I said. “Ok,
so let’s start walking” my mom replied. The sun shone right straight through my
face. I quickly took out my hat and wear it. I still can’t stand it. It’s too
much, it’s like I am facing a sun myself.
Clock hand points at 12 and our stomach was rumbling with
hunger. We stopped at a restaurant and rested for a while. I feel myself was saved. The sun
continues to shine outside. The food
here was delicious and it leavens our wallet once again. Oh, I just thought
that we would go back to our hotel by 3 then we should hurry up.
The flowers were sparkling red and scented by the nature of
flowers. Field of flowers were colorful
and variation. There was a garden of imagination, which is garden of flowers and
decorative items. It was wonderful. My body was wet by the sun and dry up by the cool wind.
Time passes so fast and we must go. I haven’t gone through all of them yet, but only this it is already wonderful even though the weather isn’t comfort us. Next time I would rather go at night.
You explain very detail, and I could imagine the environment surrounding you, the colorful and variation of flowers surrounding you and I can even feel the heat under the sun right now, but you still need to be more careful in your grammar errors. Lastly, the weather nowadays are unusual.
ReplyDeleteThanachart P5
Your title is very interesting. I like the way you have conversation within the story. It makes the reader able to imagine the place even more. The way you clarify and describe about thing is great. I like the part that you said 'your body seemed like being boiled and that a fan is not enough to keep you cool.' I could sense that it was very hot. Terrific!
ReplyDeletePatthita M. (Period 8)
I really like the way you describe the hot weather and how you describe how we normally feel in those sunny days. I can already imagine what the climate is like in the place you were describing. At first your title seems contradicting and it makes me wonder how can that be true. But when you describe it, I realized that it can really happen. It's super!
ReplyDeleteChayanid period 1
Personally, I love reading essay on nature. I feel relax after reading it. I can imagine myself in that moment surrounded my nature. It must surely be a great experience for you. I love your writing, however I can still find some mistakes on your verb. You can improve on that next time. Good job and keep it up. :D
ReplyDelete-Nattaporn P1
You writing was really good and descriptive. I love the idea of what you are trying to tell us about nature in stuff. I can actually feel myself standing there at that hot weather. I totally understand your feelings in that situation since you describe the places and the weather really well. However, there were few mistakes on your grammar but you can always improve it for the next time. Other that that, your writing was good and I really enjoyed reading it.
ReplyDeleteCatheriya P1
Wow! My first impression is your title. It sounds quite confusing. However, after I read the story you've written, I got it. Your title sounds very interesting. Also, in the body, you included so many details in the situation you faced. I can imagine that situation after reading these texts. Great job!
ReplyDelete- Kanyarak K. (P1)
This is indeed, a descriptive writing and I enjoyed reading it. I could somehow imagine you being in that situation, and imagine the scenery that you saw. It is a great writing indeed. Even though there were perhaps some grammatical mistakes, this is still understood and I still like what you wrote. Keep on writing more writings, and keep up the great work! :)
ReplyDelete-Regina Hutagalung, p8